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NewSpeak for The Office... No Cursing!

CURSING at Work

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily
offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have
been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can
continue in an effective manner.

Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the ____ you're doing.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ___ing b___.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the ____ do you expect me to do this?

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No ____ing way.

Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be ____ing me!

Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a ___.

Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my ____ing problem.

Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the ____?

Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This ___ won't work.

Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the ____ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ___.

Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat ___ and die.

Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ___.

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: ___ it, I'm on salary.

Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ___.

Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This ____ing job sucks.

Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the ____ died and made you boss?

Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a p__k.

Thank You,
Human Resources

See the NewSpeak for Relationships ... The Nine Most Important Words A Man Must Know

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