"We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect."
-- Alanis Morissette

“Our neighbor is anyone who needs assistance, whether friend or stranger. We cannot expect to correct all the ills of the world but we can help the people with whom we come in contact. This is our spiritual service.”
– Elizabeth Sand Turner

This is something that I have to remember when I'm in hermit-mode...

Sometimes, I am privy to discussions that my children have when they are talking with one another. Their clearsightedness floors me sometimes ... for example:

16yog: Boy, when I think about how much I liked X, I realize that I was out of my mind! What was I thinking?!?

10yog: YoYou were chasing a piece of tail (Mom: !!?!!), without looking at what it was attached to.

16yog: A dog?

10yog: Precisely! (Both start laughing)

At this point, I just about have to scrape myself off of the floor, between being in shock at the correctness of the 10yo's diagnosis, as well as the way she phrased her statement... that one's an old soul... and trying not to wet my pants laughing (they drummed me out of the Mothers' Union *ages* ago because I laugh out loud when the children do something funny)!!

I am *so* glad that I am privileged to see how their minds work. They actually talk to me without coercion (at least, that's what I hear other parents complain about ... I've not had that problem, myself); and I know that they look out for one another, even though they don't always agree. I believe that if this keeps up, they will be fine when I am gone... they will look out for one another. Which, I think, is the truest definition of 'family'.

[I wish I had written this one, but I didn't... It doesn't make it any less meaningful, though :-)]

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt.

And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.

And I shall eat dessert every single day (If I feel like it)!

with a friend. We went to a friends’ new shop/deli, and we had sandwiches for lunch with some ladies from her church. It was awkward at first, but it went ok. The sandwiches were good, and so was the iced tea.

My friend took me back home, and we talked for a few minutes outside my house, and then she went to run errands. I wrote her and the pastors’ wife a “thank you” note, even though I had to ‘google’ the pastors’ address. It will go in the mail tomorrow morning.

I found out about a php script that should allow me to point a subdomain to my website host, and the script will tell the forward which file to present. I’m currently tinkering with it to get it to work. Eventually, I will have subdomains for my bookmarks, blog, writing pages, and webtools. This has been a real learning experience! Hopefully, I will be pretty much set up soon!

[I've added my comments to my best friend, Terri... thanks for being my friend - but then again, if you stop being my friend, I'll have to kill you; you know too much!!]

By Michelle Burford

-- "Friends are the family we choose for ourselves," writer Edna Buchanan once said.

I consider the "family" I've gathered -- with five kinds of pals I count on for completely different things -- among the wisest choices I've made. If you can find even one who embodies any of the characteristics that follow, you can consider yourself fortunate.


The Uplifter: This woman's favorite word: yes. You could tell her you're trading your six-figure income for a career in offtrack betting, and she'd barely pause before yelping "Go for it!" Don't you need someone who looks past the love handles to notice the extraordinarily gorgeous you?

[MgrofChaos: Thanks for encouraging me to "hang in there", when I felt discouraged, and to "go for it" when I was nervous about starting something new.]

The Travel Buddy: When the hotel in St. Lucia is a bust, one characteristic becomes all-important: flexibility. This agreeable companion need not be the girl you traded pinkie swears with on the playground; it's enough that she's comfortable with quiet (between gabfests) and is a teensy bit mischievous (as in tequila after midnight).

[MgrofChaos: Hurricane season in Puerto Rico; driving on a two lane highway in the mountains... 'nuff said!]

The Truth Teller: Intent is what separates the constructive from the abusive. Once you've established that the hard news is spoken in love (not in jealousy or malice), you'd be smart to seek out this woman's perspective.

[MgrofChaos: Credit freeze... again, 'nuff said.]

The Girl Who Just Wants to Have Fun: One Saturday a pal and I -- and yes, we're both over age 12 -- pored over every glitter lip gloss in a drugstore aisle for an entire 45 minutes. Forget the crisis download (for that, see the Uplifter); this partnership is about spontaneous good times.

[MgrofChaos: Paper Direct catalogs... remember those? 10 hours on the phone in the early nineties (our personal record)!]

The Unlikely Friend: "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive," Anaïs Nin wrote. My friends -- some twice my age, others half, some rich, others homeless, some black like me, others Korean, Mexican, Caucasian -- have added richness to my life that only variety can bring.

[MgrofChaos: Who knew that Algebra could truly change your life?!?]