HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river.

When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?"
The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.

The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.
"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water.

When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney.
"Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding.
You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.

Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband.

Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.
Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is:

Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

[And the choir sings, "AMEN!"]
:ducking:

Some people will do anything for a river view!

http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_dec2007/BridgeWeightLimits.htm

Mary Poppins' new hobby

For sure, she needs that magic umbrella for this one, lol!!

In November 2007, on my humor blog, I posted an news article about how Microsoft had recently created HealthVault and other companies had done something similar.

I noted my concern at the top of the article: "Aren't these the people who invented 'Patch Tuesday'?".

To sum up what's most important from that article:

"From the consumer's point of view, Microsoft's HealthVault site is part filing cabinet, part library and part fax machine for an individual's or a family's medical records and notes.

The free site can store medical histories, immunization and other records from doctors' offices and hospital visits, including data from devices like heart monitors. It is also tied to a health information search engine the software maker launched last month.

Users can dole out access to different slices of their health data via e-mailed invitations to doctors, family members and other people as the need arises.

Microsoft has been kicking around the idea of a health site since at least 2000, when Chief Executive Steve Ballmer described a "health vault" in a speech to financial professionals in New York.

The software maker isn't the first to jump into the ring. Across the country, groups of providers are starting "regional health information organizations" to share data electronically.

Insurance providers and private companies market their own flavors of patient-controlled storehouses of records, and employers including Wal-Mart Stores Inc. offer such tools to workers.

Steve Case, co-founder of AOL, has launched Revolution Health, an information Web site that offers a records management tool for paying members, and Google Inc. has indicated it will launch its own service."

Now, we have this:
Health Data Storage Sites Might Not Be Secure

"The World Privacy Forum is warning consumers about the potential pitfalls of using newly popular services that consolidate personal health records - especially when they're kept by companies that are not subject to current federal regulations on privacy and security.

"Consumers need to know that not all (vendors) protect privacy in the same way," said Pam Dixon, executive director of the San Diego nonprofit group, which is issuing its report today. "Some can undermine consumer privacy in serious and unexpected ways."

To protect yourself, know your rights:

"-- Study privacy policies carefully. Don't use a vendor if it doesn't have one or if it's not readily available.

-- If a company says it is "HIPAA-compliant," that may not mean it's covered by the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act. Find out what your rights are from that vendor.

-- For more information on your rights under the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, go to www.hhs.gov/ocr/hipaa.

-- Find the World Privacy Forum report at www.worldprivacyforum.org."

This is looking more and more like a medical identity theft train wreck waiting to happen. Unless and until the medical info people get their individual and collective acts together, I wouldn't sign up with anything online with respect to my medical records. YMMV!

why people send chain letters all the time. [Especially without stripping the thousand or so other people that sent it before them, but that's another rant.]

It's because they want to keep in touch, but they don't have anything to say.

Never mind that they can talk about their children [how cute/smart/athletic/sardonic], or their job [funny thing happened at the watercooler], or the oddly shaped mushroom growing on the tree in the front yard.

They forward [without stripping - grr!] chain letters [usually nice, touching, coercive ones], about how much friends/family/world peace means to the original writer, and, since they are forwarding it, to them as well.

Since I have the very nasty habit of actually writing letters ["... my name is LaVeda, and I'm a serial letter-writer." "Hi, LaVeda"], I write to people and ask them how they are, what they are up to, and is that mushroom shaped like the State of Vermont still on the tree in your front yard, to forstall the inevitable, "I don't know what to talk about!!" and to give them a starting point. [I'm all for unexpected detours... they are the most fun!]

My reward? One sentence answers. 'We're all fine... :)' or 'Funny.' [If I get an answer at all. Usually, I get one answer for every three or four emails.]

SO, I'm throwing in the towel. No more attempts at interesting, funny or detailed emails. No more questions so that you can brag about your children, your job, or anything else that is going on in your life.

As of right now, I hereby join the ranks of the Chain Letter Forwarding Guild. [And, no I'm not stripping out the extra HTML and the forwards, and I'm absolutely NOT using the BCC: function. You're on your own with the spammers!!]
[/rant]

Microsoft recently received a patent on a biometrics monitoring system, that can "track a worker's productivity, physical wellbeing and competence."

Microsoft also is currently engaged in the 2007-2008 "Next-Gen PC design competition" and one of the finalists? Momenta, the PC for life.

Now, this entry hasn't won, but I think that even if it doesn't win, we may see it in use, perhaps in a different form, coupled with Microsoft's new biometrics patent. Of course, if you can plug in a set of earphones, it may also make an excellent MP3 player [/sarcasm]!

The photo on the GeeksAreSexy post, is of a nude [appearing] black woman wearing the collar/necklace. This photo brings to mind all kinds of misogynistic and racist stereotypes. Especially with this design, I can't imagine the average man wearing them (although on the competition website, they show personalized versions of Momenta for men and women).

The collar itself looks a little like the Collar of Obedience, seen on the Original Star Trek series, or a telekinetic suppression collar, as seen on Star Trek: DS9; both of which are used as tools of control.

:shakes head:

The Ones That Mother Gives You
This looks like a satirical ad series in Canada (I think), but even this blogger is unable to tell who is behind it... hopefully there is more information to come. It looks interesting, to say the least! I'll be keeping my eye on this one :)!

Do you know anything about this series? If so, speak up! Enquiring minds wanna know, lol!!

Tonight, I got to see the total lunar eclipse.

It was beautiful.

It began at about 8:35, with the edge of the Earths' shadow slowly overtaking the rim of the Moon.

Then, about 45 minutes in, the clouds got between us and the Moon, so we could see it, but there was a halo around the it, sort of like the rainbow that you see on the surface of a bubble.

Tha halo was seen even on the billowed clouds that were directly 'underneath' the Moon... the halo effect was more pronounced on the wispy clouds that encircled the it.

And, in less time than it took to write the above sentence, the clouds cleared, and what was left was a midnight-black sky, with stars twinkling all around.

At about 9:15, the Moon was shadowed by about 40%. It happened quickly, but not fast enough to sit and watch it, moment by moment. If you looked at the shadow very carefully, you could still see the obscured portion of the Moon, shadowed in red. (The red is the color of the Earth's shadow, which is what is eclipsing the Moon .)

I wish that I had a firepit in the front yard. This would be great to watch, sitting next to a bonfire.

9:20 - The Moon is half-gone.

9:45 - The Moon is 90% gone. There is a sliver of white, with a 'shadow' moon colored red. It looks a little bit like older pictures of Mars, with the white poles, and the red body, except that it looks like it is turned sideways, with only one pole.

Of course, being good Trekkies, the children were looking for the Enterprise, or at least Voyager. [Where's Emory Erickson when you need him?]

9:59 - Only the tiniest sliver of white is left, and the shadow is much thicker and darker than it was even half an hour ago.

10:10 - The sliver is gone, the Moon has given way to the shadow.

10:24 - It's harder to distinguish the smudgy, red Moon from the background of the sky... but it's still there :)

10:53 - The shadow is receding... so cool!! [Insert your favorite Babylon 5 reference/joke here] and you can see 'our' Moon beginning to return... except that the white part is not on the right, the way it was at 9:45, but it is at the bottom, like a South Pole.

11:58 - There's a small, dark shadow on one quadrant of the Moon's surface, but otherwise, it is shining brightly, and bringing its special magic to the night again.

Well, that's it for me for the night... absolutely wondrous, it was!!

Banks Borrow $50 Billion From The Federal Reserve

"The Financial Times said the move has sparked unease among some analysts about the stress developing in opaque corners of the U.S. banking system and the banks' growing reliance on indirect forms of government support.

And we waste our time obsessing about yanking the social safety net out from under people... the real issue (where most of the $$ are going) is corporate welfare. Maybe we should all form corporations and line up?

Artists experimenting with USB releases

Really cool... albums on USBs ... that takes up a lot less space... I can see it coming as a mainstream thing soon :)!

"Low-income students and families often assume that college is financially out of reach, or that they will need to borrow heavily to cover all the costs. However, financial aid can make a college education much more affordable than the "sticker price" might imply. A number of schools have developed special targeted financial aid "pledges" that limit or eliminate student loans from financial aid packages, and reduce costs for students and families. Pledges send a strong message about financial expectations and affordability to low- and middle-income students."

Some of these are useful even if you don't fall in the low-income bracket... check it out!

Institution List:
http://projectonstudentdebt.org/pc_institution.php

Main Page:
http://projectonstudentdebt.org/

Are YOU spending too much time online?

Photo by ICanHasCheezBurger

... think of the poor little hungry BABY - Get offline, lol!!

On Wednesday, February 20, 2008 8:43pm - 12:01am EST (USA), there will be a Lunar Eclipse , in shades of red, orange and turquoise. Excerpt:

"On Wednesday evening, February 20th, the full Moon over the Americas will turn a delightful shade of red and possibly turquoise, too. It's a total lunar eclipse—the last one until Dec. 2010.

The Sun goes down. The Moon comes up. You go out and look at the sky. Observing the eclipse is that easy. Maximum eclipse, and maximum beauty, occurs at 10:26 pm EST (7:26 pm PST)."

Go to the link for more, and if you are not on the East Coast, USA, there are links with the appropriate time for your neck of the woods :)

BTW, there won't be another one for two years, so mark your calendars!!

Photo by WoosterCollective.com

“For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.”
~Rainer Maria Rilke

For those of you with health insurance (or have had health insurance)... it may be worth following this case:

New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo on Wednesday said he will sue Ingenix, its parent UnitedHealth Group and three subsidiaries, saying the insurers are defrauding consumers by manipulating how much doctors and hospitals are reimbursed.

Cuomo also sent 16 subpoenas to insurance companies including Aetna Inc., Cigna Corp. and Empire Blue Cross Blue Shield, the state's largest health insurer.

The case contends that insurance companies are underpaying consumers who use out-of-plan physicians.

Find out more at the link:

Cuomo to Sue Major Health Insurers

Here are some links that are good for wasting time (like when you are supposed to be writing, but can't think of anything :blink:)!

Not Always Right
Funny and stupid customer quotes

The Useless Information Page
Things that you didn't know you needed to know :)

12 Reasons Why a Geek Will Steal Your Girlfriend in 2008
Very cute.

Funny and Wise Proverbs
I need to put some of these on T-Shirts!!

WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE...I'M BROKE!

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be
confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes
of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered
vacuum cleaners." "Go away," said the old lady. "I haven't got any money,
I'm broke!" As she proceeded to close the door, the young man wedged
his foot in the door and pushed wide open. "Don't be too hasty," he said.
"Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he
emptied a bucket of horse manure on to her hallway carpet.

"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure
from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder. The old
lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a really good appetite,
because they cut off my electricity this morning."

"When I say I'm broke, I'm broke!!"

Now, you can beat your children at Rock, Paper, Scissors!!

The Ultimate Rock, Paper, Scissors Chart

Use things they never heard of to defeat their puny choices!!

[insert manaical laughter here]

Here's something for you factoid buffs:

The Mental_Floss blog has a new toy: The Random Fact Generator!! And, if you have a fact, you can add to its store of wisdom, lol!!

Enjoy!!

Mac and Cheese as Medicine: Isn't food processed enough?

This blog post says that in nations where intestinal parasites are a problem, fortifying (I'm not certain if that is the correct word) the macaroni and cheese dish with plant oils that kill tapeworms and parasites is being considered.

This is considered 'cool', I suppose because it is easier to get people to eat oversalted, overprocessed crud than it is to get them to take medicine. :shakes head:

I haven't thought my feelings on this all the way through, but this sounds bad to me.

I love this one...

Journal, Part 1:



Part 2:


[Applause]

Image from: bennet 4 senate


There's a great discussion going on in the comments (click on the image to go there) ... although, my take on it is this... snow angels are made with *snow* (or confetti colored to look like snow - maybe in red or white, the better to match the logo colors), and when you are making snow angels, your palms are perpendicular to the ground, the better to scoop the snow to make the wings properly - but wait, there's no snow [!!] An 'innocent' photo would have the bullseye part of the target on her belly button, not her crotch (which is a significant target in our society). If this figure had been male, it would have been taken as an emasculating 'shot', why eles would his genitals be the 'target' of the bullseye?

As long as you are unable to decode the significance of ordinary things, and as long as you take the signs of your culture at face value, you will continue to be mastered by them. But once you see behind the surface of a sign into its hidden cultural significance, you can free yourself from that sign and perhaps find a new way of looking at the world. You will control the signs of your culture rather than having them control you. – Jack Solomon

Yes, the headline is a pun on the image. But I know that you are smart enough to figure out what was supposed to (perhaps subconsciously) go through our minds when we saw the image. Great 'looking out', Target [/sarcasm]!!