Surefire Way To Get Your Children To Go To & STAY In Bed!!

Learn show tunes and cheesy songs!!

We recently acquired a copy of the movie 'Dreamgirls', and the soundtrack (what can I say, I like catchy musical numbers). We all enjoyed it so much, that we've learned all the songs on the CD (to be fair though, we also know the songs from 'Willy Wonka', 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' and others).

Tonight, the children decided that they wanted to run back and forth between my bedroom and their room, asking questions about the nature of the universe, and such, instead of going to bed.

My revenge?

I 'Weird Al'ed' Dreamgirls' "You're Gonna Love Me" and sang it with gusto to the children as they cowered in their beds.

And I am telling you (pointing)
You're gonna sleep now
You're the best child I'll ever know (pointing at giggling child)
There's no way I can ever, ever go

Darlin' there's no way
No no no no way
You're stayin' awake now
You're not stayin' awake now
not stayin' awake now
I just want peace and quiet

And you (pointing)
And you
And you (pointing)
You're gonna sleep now
You're gonna sleep now
Yes, you are
Yes you are (pointing)
Sleep now
Sleep now (pointing)
SLEEP NOW!! (pointing)

Sleeeeep ... You're gonna sleeeep .... (deep breath) NOW (long note here)!!

By this point, they are giggling; mainly because Mom is making a fool of herself .

Especially because I have the type of voice that people would pay perfectly good money NOT to hear, lol!!

And, the entire song is pretty long. By the time I've finished, the police have arrived to investigate the disturbance, the neighborhood dogs are barking, and the neighbors are behind the police with a petition - would I please just play heavy metal CDs to the children at bedtime.

But, the children go to sleep, lest I return for an encore (I can hear the neighborhood dogs barking in protest), and sing something else equally dreadful like 'Truly Scrumptious' from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Works every time.

Oops! I hear more noise... be right back...

Well, it looks like I spoke too soon. This was a harder than usual case tonight... I had to break out songs from 'Yentl'...

And if you think that's bad, imagine trying to sing over the noise, rework lyrics on the fly, and dodge stray thrown toy pieces, while staying on key because the children are making faces (to try to get me to laugh and quit singing), and heckling me, all at the same time. It makes for an interesting performance, that's for sure!! (It was a REALLY tough room!)

When I left, all I heard behind me was the occasional whimper.

They know, that if I come back, I'll be bringing my extensive repetoire of Engelbert Humperdinck songs (yeah, baby!) I've got a million of 'em ... bwahahahahhhh!!


Oh! Oh! OH! Try Shanana's "Good night sweet heart!" (http://darthvadai.blogspot.com/2007/09/sha-na-na.html)

My kids think it's funny, AND they sometimes settle down!


You must have my house bugged...
:looks under sofa:

That's the song that I start out with! We don't get to show tunes until much later in the evening, when I'm about to 'go werewolf' on 'em, lol!!

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